Time change to daylight savings

Twice annually I become a very unhappy camper for a period of approximately a week.  It's got nothing to do with birthdays, holidays or my female dog going into heat.  These things all make me an unhappy camper on a completely different, lesser-degree level. 

What, you ask, could possibly do this?

It's time change.

The flip back and forth between Daylight Savings (DST) and Standard Time has got to be the most annoying, useless piece of bureaucracy ever invented.  Every spring and fall, as I suffer from:

- sleep disruption,
- disorientation about it being light/dark at <insert time of morning/evening here>,
- hunger pangs at innapropriate times of the day,
- and my dogs being upset at the disruption to their schedule,

I spend approximately a week cursing at the powers that be that allow this idiotic practice to continue.  My symptoms read like a bad warning label on yet another drug we don't need.  The very words 'time change' send a shiver down my spine, and create an impending sense of dread within the depths of my chest unparallelled in it's... ummm... dreadiness.  It evokes a hatred in me so white hot, boiling, bubbling and otherwise... ummm... hot and hatred filled, that...

...well, I'm not sure what.  You get the picture, though.

Saskatchewan (as in Canada, for the geographically challenged), although possessing a boring shape geographically and being relatively flat and featureless, has got this nailed, people!  They are rebels, refusing to conform to the world bureaucracy by not changing their clocks during time change!  They just float blithely along choosing whichever time zone suits their fancy as the seasons advance, effectively staying on Central Standard Time (or Mountain Daylight, if you prefer) year-round.

Oh if only my provincial politicians were so bold and rebellious!

Locations that do (blue), used to (orange), and
never did (red) observe time change.
Image: Wikimedia Commons



There are actually a number of places in the world who no longer, or never did observe a change to DST.  Notably, these locations are all more equatorially located than the northern latitudes I inhabit, but as the number of locations that do not observe time change increases and creep ever north and southward, I believe it is important to note something about these non-conforming countries. 

When time change rolls around and they don't change their clocks, nothing happens!  That's right, people, there are no consequences to not moving ahead or setting back your clocks!  The economy and financial empires that dominate our modern world do not collapse, the country does not dissolve into a state of political unrest or outright civil war (recent Middle Eastern events being the exception, but this had nothing to do with time change, moreso time for a change), computers do not stop working, cars do not stop driving, cows do not stop mooing, fish do not stop swimming...

Need I go on?

According to Wikipedia, Daylight Savings Time was first proposed in 1895 by a New Zealand shift worker, who was also an avid entomologist in his spare time.  He proposed a change such that he would have more daylight hours to persue his hobby in the evening after work.  It wasn't adopted, and there were a few more proposals for such a change in the years that followed, but it wasn't until World War I that it was finally adopted somewhere... Germany.  This was a bid to conserve coal for the war effort.  And things kind of derailed (in my mind, at least) from there.

Various reasons for the adoption of DST have ranged over the years from financial, to those espousing benefits to one's health.  However to date very few of these reasons have been proven to be valid, and the only real benefit has been to retailers, who see shoppers more willing to shop during daylight hours.

Given that the vast majority of the supposed benefits to a change to DST have since been debunked as having negligible, or even negative, value, why have we not gotten rid of this ridiculousness?

I think there is a provincial election coming up soon... I will cast my vote for anyone who runs on a campaign of ditching time change.



My very clever drawing of Saskatchewan.
See how easy it is, people?



Yup, still moo'ing...

...and still swimming.



A commentary on Japan

The past few days have seen me experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness to anger to gratefullness, and everything in between.  No wonder I feel so exhausted today.

Watching the footage out of Japan pretty much live in the wee hours of the morning  the other night while suffering through what seemed like an overly long nightshift, I found myself having to control tears to the point that I actually had to leave the room and go compose myself in the bathroom a number of times.  My tears were twofold: first, in the realization of the scale of the devastation that was occurring over there, and the death toll that was likely to follow; and second, in being incredibly relieved that some very close friends and my brother had all vacated that general area of the world recently (as in the week previously), with my two friends returning safely home from Tokyo and the Phillipines, and my brother making the decision to move to central China from Taiwan.  While the effects on areas in the Pacific other than Japan turned out to be quite minimal, it was still a relief to know that everyone was safe.  Truly, in my mind one of the worst things that could happen to oneself is having a loved one in a far off location when such an event occurs, and having no way of contacting them to find out if they are okay.  Not knowing is very scarey.  My heart goes out to those currently in this situation. 

I was deeply saddened too to realize that it wasn't just people that were dying or badly injured over there, but all manner of creatures from pets to livestock to wildlife.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm a sucker for the animals, and although not a vegetarian do believe all life is precious and all creatures deserve to be treated humanely, even if they are destined for a dinner plate.  Heck, I even talk to my plants in the garden, and thank them during the harvest season.  Sadly, when events of this magnitude happen, animals are the one's oft left behind during an emergency evacuation, and neglected during the subsequent cleanup.  I pray they all find the help and care they need, whether it be at the hands of a rescue worker, veterinarian or in some great hereafter. 

Oh dear... there are those tears again... just a sec...

Okay.

Better, for now.

In the wake of the earthquake and tsunami over there, the media frenzy continues with the latest headline target being the damaged nuclear power plants.  The media's reaction to all of this makes me angry.  For starters, some of the focus on this story is simply due to the fact that a major radioactive event could potentially affect North America, which must be (by their account) the centre of the Universe and what matters most in this situation.  Second, the sensationalism of this whole affair seems more designed to sell newspapers instead of actually getting facts straight.  Now, I'm by no means a nuclear physicist, technician, or any other sort of nuclear expert. 

I'm not even Homer Simpson. 

But I do recall some basics about how a nuclear power plant operates from some physics class I took in high school or university, and am not worried in the least about what is going on with the nuclear power plants over there.  Honestly, the situation at the power plants is likely the least of Japan's worries given the devastation to basic infrastructure and basic necessities for survival.  There are some really great blogs out there written by people in the know in an attempt to stop the spread of disinformation, and if you want valid scientific reasoning, please check them out - they are linked at the bottom of this post.

Finally, I experienced more anger, and a small measure of despair, upon reading an article that talks about fake charities that spring up whenever events of this magnitude happen attempting to take advantage of people trying to donate to rescue efforts and causes.  What is wrong with people in that they see this as an opportunity for financial gain?  Actually, I know exactly what is wrong with them, but that my friends is another post all in itself.  If you are looking to donate to one of these causes, please ensure it's legit so your money gets to where you wanted it to go.  I've linked to the Red Cross and American Humane Society below.

Stay safe, good readers, and may the Force be with you all, no matter what life throws at you.

Blogs regarding the status of Japan's nuclear power plants:

Rod Adams' blog - Atomic Insights
Barry Brook's blog - A Brave New Climate

Donate to the relief effort in Japan:

Canadian Red Cross
American Humane Society (disclaimer - while I don't necessarily agree with some tactics humane societies may employ, the AHS is a legit charity and your money will get put to good use)

I have an addiction...

Hi.

My name is Christina, and I'm a pencil-aholic.

I may need to check into a rehabilitation clinic, preferably in some warm, sunny locale with a beach and spa nearby.

You see, it all started when I began my job. I have a job where I and my colleagues actually get to draw and colour every shift, using pens, pencils, pencil crayons, felt markers, and whatever else we can get our grubby little hands on. You all may have a hard time imagining such a job even exists, but let me assure you, gentle reader, that it does. I can't tell you what it is, because then I'd have to kill you. Actually no, I wouldn't, but I couldn't stand the ridicule and mockery you would heap upon me so I'm not telling you. So let's just leave it at the fact I get to draw and colour every time I'm at work.

Each and every desk at my workplace has a wondrous box, cup or other suitable object filled with drawing and colouring implements, along with an electronic pencil sharpener. No old, squeaky, hand-cranked pencil sharpener, it's only the best for me and my colleagues! However, some of us are too good for the communal implements, and carry our own personal implement-holding objects containing our own custom mix of drawing/colouring implements.

I am such an individual.

Now inevitably, the communal implements get left scattered around the desk at the end of each shift, and the oncoming shift has to make the decision whether to continue to use these or to clean up after their lazy predecessor and put them away back into the communal implement-holding object. I always make the latter decision, because as aforementioned I carry my own personal stash of implements.

Occasionally, however, there is scattered in amongst the communal implements a brand new, freshly sharpened, yellow HB pencil.

For some reason I have yet been unable to ascertain, this particular drawing implement calls to me like a siren the likes of which are only found in sailing myth, legend and lore, weaving her spell while singing on a rock or beckoning from the foamy, dark depths of the ocean.



A very artistic photo of my pencil case and HB addiction.

 Inevitably, this pencil gets adopted by me and joins his identical siblings in my trusty Sesame Street pencil case which my mother made for me back in Grade 10. I won't say how many years ago this was, let's just leave it at it's been awhile. Last count found five of these wondrously addictive pencils in residence, along with two personalized pencils that were gifts, and three mechanical pencils, along with other oddities such as a small rock and a couple almost-dead highlighters. 

Truly, this has got to be one of the most bizarre addictions ever.

In the meantime be rest assured, fair reader, that if we manage to survive the catastrophe coming in December 2012, I have got the whole pencil gig covered. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I see a lovely yellow HB sticking out of the communal pencil cup.

Receipts, unsolicited ad-mail, and other random scraps of paper...

I've been pondering more and more lately as we move further into this fabulous, amazing, whiz-bang electronic age that we are living in why I still manage to accumulate random little scraps of paper in my pocket and junk mail in my mailbox.  While buying a bag of dog food today, I acquired no less than three little scraps of paper from the retailer that got jammed into my pocket because there was no other option in which to place them.  Well, I guess I could have shoved them...

Ummm...

Nah, I actually like the owners of my local dog-food-procurement establishment.

At any rate, while going to another store afterwards and digging for some change in my pocket, I encountered these three little random scraps of paper in addition to some from a previous foray into a store, and became moderately annoyed when these scraps of paper impeded my ability to find the change I knew was there.

If I had one of these puppies I bet I could get my Utopia
established quicker.  Image from: 7 reasons to embrace
 junk mail from 7reasons.org. Junk mail still sucks, but the
post is amusing.

Regarding ad-mail, I've actually managed to finally get the mail man to stop putting unsolicited ad-mail in our mailbox by taping a small note inside the door asking him to refrain from filling our box with this crap.  I had requested it be stopped when we first got our mailbox, but obviously he forgot at some point and started stuffing it back in there again.  Hence, the reminder will stay in our mailbox for the rest of eternity, because I am tired of bringing this stuff home and jamming it straight into a recycle bag.

And Mr. Credit Card Pre-Approval that makes it through because it's actually addressed to me?  You can just fuck right off.  Although I guess it would come in handy if I wanted to buy all the crap in the unwanted flyer from the local big box store.

Long live consumer debt!

Then there is the latest, greatest, monthly catalogue from whatever online store I frequent.  The key word here being online.  If I wanted to buy any of your splendiforous crap, I'd go back online, to your online website where I find your online catalogue, and order my stuff online.

Speaking of online, I get a packing slip in anything I order online.  Why?  I know I ordered it, I was expecting it, and I'm not confused when this item arrives in my mailbox or via the UPS man.  I even have a confirmation e-mail of what I ordered, and am perfectly capable of checking the contents of the package against the confirmation e-mail.

My point in all this you ask?

Believe it or not, birds will actually make nests of this shit.
Hopefully the ink isn't toxic, however.  Mutant birds ain't
really my cup of tea.  Likely to be a remake of Hitchcock's
The Birds.  Now that was some scary shit.

I'm tired of having to shred, burn, or otherwise annihilate little scraps of paper that contain personal information.  And I'm tired of having to recycle crap that is designed to make me want to buy some other cheap piece of crap consumer good from some country halfway around the globe, or inform me about crap that I really could care less about.

You can go on until you're blue in the face to me about how a lot of this paper is produced from, and in turn recycled, blah, blah, blah, but the reality is if we didn't produce all this unwanted advertising and receipts and other junk in the first place we wouldn't even have to bother having a recycling infrastructure in place to take care of it.

Furthermore, if I'm using my bank card and Airmiles card to complete a purchase on your fancy, whiz-bang computer of a till, you likely have all my information... why do I need a little scrap of paper to return a product when you can just swipe my bank card and get all the information you need?  Because let's face it, despite all their assurances that it's all transparent and they don't store it, the reality is that all the information your favourite local retailer would need to have a no-paper receipt infrastructure in place is all out there floating around on the great, wide, nether-reaches of the internet anyways.  If the information can be transparent going in one direction, it can be transparent going in the other.

In the meantime, I'll just keep dreaming of my Utopia where there is no crap advertising flyers or little scraps of paper containing personal information.

My day will come eventually.

Yup.  That about sums it up.

Age and theories on annoying people

I'm getting old.

Now... you all might call this a blinding flash of the obvious, as really we all get old.  It's kind of inevitable.  Those that know my age might scoff at my assessment, saying I'm really not that old.  I am still called a young'un from time to time, but really it's all relative.

About 5 years ago, I began to suspect that I was getting a little older when the local classic rock station started playing music that I had enjoyed back in high school.  It had never occurred to me before that the definition of what is considered 'classic' rock would change as the decades rolled on, slowly encompassing yet another decade into it's broad repetoire that began back before I was even conceived.   

Harsh reality, however, set in today that it's only a matter of time before I'm sitting on my front porch, brandishing Husband's shotgun (or a cane, for all you anti-gun ninnies) yelling at some young punk to "GET OFF MY LAWN!!". 

(For the purposes of this exercise, let's please imagine that (a) what I have can actually be termed a lawn; and (b) my 'lawn' isn't a couple of hundred feet from my front porch and hidden behind a small forest. Anyways, continuing on before my train-of-thought derails... this happens when you get old too... wait - what was my point here?  Oh yeah!  Ahem...)

The cause of this harsh realization you ask, oh fair reader?  Allow me to share.

I've always been highly annoyed by high school kids, even while in high school.  The problem has only gotten worse as time has passed, to the point where I'm now not only annoyed by high school kids, but also college and university kids and those just fresh out of these supposed sage institutes of higher learning.  This point was driven home to me today while overhearing a late-twenty-something year old gossiping on the phone to a friend about this person and that person while going all, like, what the hell?! and drama queen'ish.  And try as I might, I could not HELP but overhear because my personal space was being invaded and this girl had little concept of 'inside voice'.

Highly annoying.  Seriously.  You have no idea.  You know how I mentioned that shotgun earlier?? 

At any rate, it's not that I'm scared of the grey hair, or the wrinkles, or the incontinence (okay, okay... scratch that from the list.  Yeesh, a girl tries to make a joke...), it's just I have realized that at some point it is exceedingly likely I will be annoyed by most of humanity. 

Lemme 'splain...

Original theory on the Annoyance Level/Age relationship.

In the graph on the right, you see what my previous suppositions were on the whole age/annoying level matter, also referred to as my Original Theory on Annoying People, or OTAP for short.  I had always assumed that as an annoying individual aged, they at some point reached a level of maturity where they realized just how annoying they were, and simply grew up and became mostly un-annoying, useful members of society.

Now, you'll remember that earlier I mentioned that it seems the age category that I consider to contain annoying individuals seems to be expanding.  This would imply two things.

1. The annoyance of an individual is not, in fact, a factor of their age but is instead a factor of our changing society, in which people are becoming more self-centred and oblivious to their effect on the world around them.  Logic then leads us to the conclusion that the level of annoyance of an individual is more a function of your year of birth as opposed to age at any given moment (i.e. your annoyance is a function of societies morales that shaped you as you were growing up).

2. children in the 0-13 year categories are exempt from my theory irregardless of year of birth, because I am not annoyed by kids under approximately the age of 13 or so.  In fact, I'm actually a huge fan of kids and envy their ability to still be all innocent and exempt from all the shit that daily life has to throw at most of us.  Point, you ask?  We should all take a lesson and be more like children.  But that's yet another blog post.

New and Improved theory on the Annoyance Level/Age
relationship.

In order to illustrate my New and Improved Theory on Annoying People, or NITAP for short, I present another graph.  As you can see on this graph at the right, I illustrate how at some point in society there was some form of massive, singular, shattering societal event which began creating a cornucopia of annoying individuals.  While I couldn't pinpoint one event (which I guess kills the 'singular' part of that description), there was a lot that went down in the 1980's that shaped the world as it is today, so it shouldn't be too hard to imagine a societal shift happening within that time frame.    


Now after all that theory and postulating, I should add some caveats.  While I do believe NITAP does dominate in the creation of annoying individuals today, I suspect that OTAP does operate within NITAP at some sub-level.  There is even a possible third theory that may operate within NITAP based on the societal circles one operates in, but it's still a work in progress.  It would, however, explain individuals like Paris Hilton and assorted other celebrities.  Finally, in the interest of maintaining harmony with my younger work colleagues I should add the caveat that there are some people who while they fit the parameters of NITAP I don't find annoying at all.


In the meantime, however, I believe I will just simply accept the inevitable that I have a few more grey hairs today than yesterday, there will be an increasing number of individuals I find annoying, and sit back, relax, and wait for spring.  For this is when the front porch will become less of a frozen wasteland and a more inviting locale to sit back and yell at young punks on my 'lawn'.

Stay real, gentle reader, and remember you're only as old as you feel upstairs.

An open letter to Satellite TV

A picture collage of my last phone
 experience with my (former) satellite provider.
Can you put the pictures in the
proper order?  :)

Dear Satellite TV, 

I'm so very, very, sorry, but I just can't commit to you and am cancelling you from my life.

It's not you, it's me.  I am impatient, have a short attention span, and...

Actually...
...it is you.

You are boring, with too many lame commercials and mid-season breaks, not to mention the importance you place on boring sports that I don't care about.  Interrupting the start of my favorite TV show just so a bunch of overpaid idiots on steroids can finish throwing a tiny ball around is totally not cool.

It is also not cool when you are making me happy, but then interrupt that happiness for some totally idiotic breaking news update about some idiotic individual that got shot idiotically.  Honestly chances are really, really good I don't give a flying crap about any of it.  You interrupted my HAPPY.  And given generally that there is not enough HAPPY to go around in the world today, I tend to zealously protect what HAPPY I have.  You never interrupt my HAPPY to let me know good news and increase my HAPPY, which makes it all the worse.

As for cancelling my favorite TV show mid-season because it's not the instant-uber-mega-hit you wanted... that is so not cool that it is below absolute zero.  Yes, I'm mostly looking at you, FOX.

Finally, I hate that you never work as advertised little annoying box that I paid oodles of hard-earned cash for, and I constantly have to phone (likely) India or some small largely unknown island nation only God knows where on this Earth to figure out how to make you function properly again.  I have spent more time talking to individuals in these locations in the past year than I have to my Mother, which is very, very sad.  I need someone reliable, Satellite TV, so have decided to go with Rabbit Ears.

In short Satellite TV, it would never work between you and me.  I wish you well.

With fondness,
Me

Musings on Top Secret files and Hollywood

I thought that given my recent few blogs exposing local top secret projects involving velociraptors and mutants, I should perhaps clarify (or more likely mudify) my position on such matters.

Despite being a somewhat logical, level-minded (albeit random) individual, I have to admit to wondering just exactly what does go on behind all those closed doors, inside those files marked Top Secret, and within the minds of the world's most powerful politicians and other notables.

We all see these flashy, dashy, fantastic movies from Hollywood where there is a big cover-up, mystery or other such riddle that gets solved (or not) during the course of the movie, and we think "what fantastic entertainment, but it can't possibly be true..."

...or can it?

See, just as all the great thinkers in history quite often wrote about ideas or drew objects that were far ahead of their time and came from their imaginations, I believe that sometimes there may be an iota of truth behind some of these so-called fictional Hollywood blockbusters. 

Consider, for example, that the US military had satellite technology and image resolutions back in the 1970's and 1980's that the civilian sector was just being allowed to utilize in the 1990's.  Or that the Stealth Bomber was developed back in the late 1970's to early 1980's (based on technology from even further back) and did not become known mainstream until the mid-1990's.  The point being that when they want to, our powers that be (no matter your geographical location in the world) are really great at keeping secrets.  Quite frankly, you are likely only limited by your imagination when thinking about the kind of shit these people are currently up to.

Consider as well that people manipulate other people all the time to further their own means.  We all do it, everyday.  I don't care how good, or well-intentioned, or pious or whatever you are, I guarantee that you have manipulated someone at some point in time to obtain a means to your end.  Is it really such a far leap of logic to assume that our governments, large corporations, the media and other entities in positions of power do this as well?  Large retail corporations do it all the time... it's called advertising.  If you think you aren't being manipulated into buying (or even thinking of buying) some piece of crap consumer good you don't really need, you are woefully mistaken my friend.  They spend millions on this shit daily just so you will buy their macaroni & cheese, diapers, DVD players, music albums... the list is infinite!  The point here is that if they can manipulate the masses into believing you absolutely need the latest, greatest, biggest 3-D TV that displays yellow (yes, yellow!!) in addition to the three primary colours, they can most certainly manipulate us in our thinking about events that go on daily in the world at large.

Now back to my original point about the movies... yes, there is some really crazy, fantastic and (supposedly) entirely fictional shit that goes on on the big screen, but maybe this is the point in the first place.  To keep us all thinking that it is just crazy, fantastic, and entirely fictional shit so that when some poor schmuck does try to expose the truth we all laugh, call him a nut-job, then promptly place him on medication for his 'mental health issues'.  And medication and the drug companies... don't get me started on them.  That, sports fans, is a conspiracy theory of epically scary proportions.

The bottom line of all this is there is a lot of secrets out there, and a lot of manipulation of the masses that goes into keeping these secrets.  If some screenwriter imagined it for his next blockbuster movie hit, you can bet that some other individual imagined it as well who has the knowledge and black project funding from some government or corporation to turn it into reality.  Maybe my velociraptors and mutants aren't so crazy after all, huh?

At any rate, enough deep thought from me for now.  I have to go make a new tin-foil hat... the lesson being always put them on the hand wash cycle.  Plus I think I'm overdue for my meds...